Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
