Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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