K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
