my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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