Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I AM VODKA MAN
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
