Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize