The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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