Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Randomize
