so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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