my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize