Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
