sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
