ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
