Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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