ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
