It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
