rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
