Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
