please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Say something about gay babies.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
