In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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