Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
