i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
