You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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