You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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