I want to make a zoo with you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
pray to the hookup gods
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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