for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
