Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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