it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
