New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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