she looked like the before picture.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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