Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
