ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
