they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize