And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
