She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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