you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
