If i come over, it means nothing
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
