Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
