We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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