Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
