"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
