But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Text me some of your sweat
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize