in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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