I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
