I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My dick has a subreddit
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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