Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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