Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
