I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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