i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize