Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
