She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I deserve this hangover.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
