just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
