I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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