I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
